Sexual Satisfaction

They say that music and sexuality have a long history.

Whoever they are, they’re probably right. The cringe-inducing innuendo “let’s make music together” wouldn’t exist otherwise, right? Well, that and people with letters after their names have written extensively on the subject for decades.

Artists have always had a flair for expressing themselves in the most creative ways. Artistically, they’re free to create whatever music they want, but fundamentally, they’re not free to create music however they want.

For instance, they can’t play or sing any combination of notes in any order they choose. That won’t fly in Grade 3 music class, Season 8 of The Voice or help them get downloads on iTunes.

Artistic freedom is not freedom from restriction. If you are going to be an artist, you first embrace that your world that is inherently restricted. If you go outside fundamental restrictions, Adam Levine’s chair will not turn around for you.

There’s scales, rules of harmony, the circle of 5ths, chord progressions, tempo and a host of other things that I am under-qualified to write about. Only after they understand and become proficient within these restrictions do artists enjoy the “freedom” to create in full, powerful and meaningful ways.

If you’ve ever been in the presence of a great artist, you know what I’m talking about. They can sit down and play, sing or create something that makes your head explode. They have developed disciplines in a world where musically, they can’t just do anything, which is precisely why they sound like they can do anything.

That song you love isn’t satisfying because it abandons restriction. It’s satisfying because it flows creatively from musical restrictions.

This musical picture is like one of the reasons God gives us His laws. His law shows us how sinful we are, how desperately we need a Saviour, and show us what a heart that is flourishing will want to do. Just as the laws of music simultaneously restrict artists while providing them with the means to be fulfilled in a deep and meaningful way, so are God’s laws for us.

In the realm of sexual pleasure and fulfillment, God has designed a means for us to enjoy both. His restrictions on sex are precisely what make sexual intimacy deeply satisfying and deeply fulfilling on physical, emotional and spiritual levels.

When God gave Adam one wife, Adam wasn’t instantly limited, he was instantly fulfilled. Eve was the ultimate gift from the ultimate giver. God gave Adam precisely what he needed for ultimate sexual fulfillment. God wasn’t reacting to anything, He was designing something. God gives us the means for an exciting, erotic sexual relationship that grows deeper, more intimate and becomes increasingly meaningful over the course of a lifetime of commitment to one another.

Good news.

Though our souls are forever hitting the wrong note, looking to be fulfilled apart from God, God does not move away from us. In His great grace, He comes to save us from the things we thought would fulfill and free us but only dissatisfied and enslaved us.

Sex outside God’s design of marriage is just one of hundreds of things that over-promises and under-delivers in satisfying us deeply in life. Whether we are chasing the next relationship, the next dollar or the next experience in the hopes it will satisfy our souls, God keeps coming after us with cross shaped love. Love that says, “I forgive you and I still love you.” Though we are incredibly unfaithful to God, He remains faithful to us. This is the promise of the gospel.

The Christian faith is rooted in freedom. Yet, like music, this freedom doesn’t take the form of us doing whatever we want. That would inevitably return us back to the state God originally found us: chronically unsatisfied in unmet, seemingly unquenchable cravings.

In Christ, we are freed from doing what sin wants and free to do what Christ wants, though we do this imperfectly. [4] God doesn’t free us to transform ourselves, but rather, His Spirit transforms us. Our worship to God dispels the love we have for our sin and replaces it with a love for Christ. This gradual, continual, spiritual transformation creates increasing satisfaction.

Christ frees us in the deepest possible way. Our life ceases to be an endless, escalating quest for satisfaction and becomes a place of soulful rest and peace that comes from knowing deep in our spirit that we are loved, accepted and validated by God Himself.

From this spiritual satisfaction and freedom, we enjoy sex as God provided it for us without turning it into an impotent  god, unable to give our craving souls what only God can.

“Our souls will forever be restless until they find their rest in God.” – Augustine

Press on,


[1] Galatians 5:1, Romans 7,8

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